Dude, your life is definitely not that bad believe it or not, I bet there is a lot of guys out there, who would kill for "Art, writing, video games, running, work,..." + having a girl who "just wants to suck dick." on top of that lol. Just stop taking yourself so serious, relax, play the best with the cards you were given and stay at ease or at least pretend. Remember, cool things don`t happen to non-cool people.

(January 2, 2017, 3:50 am)motofoko Dude, your life is definitely not that bad believe it or not, I bet there is a lot of guys out there, who would kill for "Art, writing, video games, running, work,..." + having a girl who "just wants to suck dick." on top of that lol. Just stop taking yourself so serious, relax, play the best with the cards you were given and stay at ease or at least pretend. Remember, cool things don`t happen to non-cool people.

She doesn't want to suck my dick. She doesn't want to ruin what we have. Which is funny because she hasn't messaged me back in other a week, which is totally fucking ruining whatever we have/had.

If I wasn't sick right now, I'd try to call her again. I have had a raspy throat for like 4 days now. It's not even that sore, just...dry. Sure wish I'd get over this so I can have my voice back.

just don`t.... if she cares, she will message back, sooner or later, if not, good to know and move along.

(January 2, 2017, 4:50 am)motofoko just don`t.... if she cares, she will message back, sooner or later, if not, good to know and move along.

Nooo, no, no. This isn't how this works. If someone makes promises and makes commitments and backs out of them, they need to know their actions have consequences. I will at the very least tell her what a piece of shit she is for making promises and breaking them. That is a violation of social protocol and that, that is not ok.

Now, if she is actually still lulling this over, trying to figure out what to do with me, I will wait but only until like Thursday. She promised to come to my late cousin's vigil, I won't tolerate someone promising to attend a service in honor of my late cousin, and then them not showing up.

Worst case scenario, she doesn't talk to me, I message her and call her out as a two-faced bitch who will always be treated like shit by men, just like she says she will be. I will help her either achieve that self-fulfilling prophecy or help her disprove it. But I will not be made a fool of by another girl. Where I come from, a promise means something. I don't know if that's like, un-American to keep my promises, maybe I was raised right, or maybe the 8 years of Chinese and using it more than English, and being surrounded by the culture rubbed off on me.

Best case scenario, after she sucks enough dick, comes out and hangs with me, away from work, away from her problems, and she sees how things are, we can at least be friends without hating each other. I mean, we used to go to Wendy's, the local Chinese buffet, down to Pitt to romp around, bars. We used to DO things. I don't do things with anyone else. I have no friends left who actually do those things. My friends are either married (those who are my age) or are too busy with their closer friends (those who are younger than me and have more friends in common ages), or they moved. Like one of my best friends from work is moving to Florida. Fuck that noise.

...as Ive said already,.... not saying there is nothing more to be exploited in this relationship, but Im pretty sure from what I have read here already, that You have not found any gold ...... the less the effort You invest, the less disappointed You will be at the end....

As I get it, that girls life is broken a lot, now You have to make your bets if that was all just bad luck and she can be healed by You, or its simply the way she does things. You can not do much with persons nature no matter how hard you try. People may experience some really bad things in their lives, I totally get that, but as the years go, the actual state of your life is becoming more and more yours own fault.

I don't have enough time right now to offer a proper response, so I'll summarize my advice here:

1. Sorry to hear that you are learning this lesson the hard way.

2. The biggest thing you are guilty of is falling completely head-over-heels for girls either too early or when the woman doesn't have the same, or even similar, feelings for you. From the outside in, it looks like you are obsessing yourselves with them (the "completely enslaved myself to her" comment is a huge red flag in that regard). You need to have a much more laissez-faire attitude toward women, because continuing to do what you're doing now will be the (perhaps literal) death of you.

3. It may sound bad but it's very possible you will need to settle for someone that doesn't meet your expectations. There's the old joke that you date a 10 and marry a 7. That was mostly talking about physical attractiveness but it could be an overall assessment of common interests, personality, etc. as well. Some people don't have to do that but most do. And you know what? That 7 may turn into a 10 over time.

4. If you are constantly finding yourself attracted to girls who have been abused and/or have legitimate mental problems, you should start fishing in a new pond.

(January 2, 2017, 5:19 am)Rudwah

(January 2, 2017, 4:50 am)motofoko just don`t.... if she cares, she will message back, sooner or later, if not, good to know and move along.

Nooo, no, no. This isn't how this works. If someone makes promises and makes commitments and backs out of them, they need to know their actions have consequences. I will at the very least tell her what a piece of shit she is for making promises and breaking them. That is a violation of social protocol and that, that is not ok.

Now, if she is actually still lulling this over, trying to figure out what to do with me, I will wait but only until like Thursday. She promised to come to my late cousin's vigil, I won't tolerate someone promising to attend a service in honor of my late cousin, and then them not showing up.

Worst case scenario, she doesn't talk to me, I message her and call her out as a two-faced bitch who will always be treated like shit by men, just like she says she will be. I will help her either achieve that self-fulfilling prophecy or help her disprove it. But I will not be made a fool of by another girl. Where I come from, a promise means something. I don't know if that's like, un-American to keep my promises, maybe I was raised right, or maybe the 8 years of Chinese and using it more than English, and being surrounded by the culture rubbed off on me.

Now you're talking as if you have to punish her. That's a bit over the line in my opinion. Your anger issues might be stronger than you want to admit here, and I'm just trying to help here.

If You finally come to that finding that your girl is a bitch, believe me, there is no point in telling her. It will certainly not "un-bitch" her so why waste the energy? Cutting the communication is the best thing one can do. Anything else makes You look like an injured idiot no matter if actually true or not.

My anger is well founded here simply because if I am held to the same social norms as a promise and break them, I am to be punished in the same capacity. All society exists as a single unit made up of other smaller units. We must punish each other lest someone be appointed by the government to do so. That's some Chinese Legalism for you. I also believe that a preach in social protocol is extremely distasteful. At the very least, she should have someone tell her she's a fuck up. If she is INDEED a fuck up. What is one more voice in her head? And it wouldn't waste any of my energy, I do that stuff for free at work practically. I'm quite used to reminding parents not to swear or smack their kids in public at my store. A simple "you're a dumb ass" to her wouldn't cost me much.

But I don't actually WANT to do that. My anger TELLS me to do it. My moral fiber tells me to because whenever someone is wrong, they are to be punished and since there is no karma, no negative recourse for people, people must punish each other. But as I said, I don't want to. I want to hug her, hold her hand, sit at a table and eat a meal with her again. Not to mention, is she this fucked up because she is supposed to be this fucked up, or was it her terrible childhood that made her this way? One is slightly more forgivable then the other. Everyone at work knows about my phobia of blood due to an accident at a dentist office when I was 9. That scarred me for life and no berates me over it. Why should I berate her over something traumatic that gave her a phobia (of sorts) of functioning like an adult?

Oh and that remark of me needing to look for girls/fish in a different pond, that's choice! I want to save that and see if I can use that to my advantage. I really do need to stay away from the same women I gravitate to. You're completely right, doubleintergral. Very wise words there.

So most of you vote for simply remaining silent and letting her fade out of my life, correct?

I'll plug the drug side of things. Ain't no emotional problem a bit of 25i and coke can't fix, so I've found.