Hi all,

I need some advice on how to tell my girlfriend about my fondness of pregnancy. She is a very outgoing and progressive person...she is not one to judge. I know that, under normal circumstances, I could tell her my kink, and she would probably do whatever she could to help. The problem is, she has had troubles with fertility in the past, and has miscarried at least once. We have been together for about 6 months, and things are super serious. I told her I wanted kids, and she nearly left me because she knew it would be dangerous for her to get pregnant. Luckily I said there are other ways to have a family, but im not sure how to bring up my kink to her. I dont want her to have another panic attack because of my kink, thinking she isnt good enough for me or whatever, but she has asked about my kinks. I really want to tell her, but I dont want it to hurt/kill our relationship. 

I hope this makes sense

Don't do it, more cons than pros

I think the important thing here is context. If she has issues emotionally with the idea of fertility it would probably be kind of painful for you to bring it up in a situation where she is feeling self conscious or otherwise insecure. It depends on how open your lines of communication are, and how well you two can discuss issues you're both uncomfortable with.

I.e. if you can be critical of each other without it leaving a lasting negative impression to the other person. If it's something that's really important to you you're going to have to come clean about it eventually, so it really depends on a couple of factors
1. How you feel about telling/not telling in the long run
2. How she'll feel about being told in the long run (whether or not it's something she'll get over or be able to accept without feeling shitty about herself)
3. How she'd feel about not being told and finding out later (whether or not she'd be more or less hurt by this possibly happening)

Regardless of what you come up with you're gonna have to come to a decision, and I wish you the best with that.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.....

DO NOT tell your significant other about your pregnancy fetish. Far more often than not, it will eat away at your relationship.

Even if she is supportive (yeah I have had a gf support and try and engage with it for me), you are confiding that what you find attractive is something she is not and cannot be (at least currently). In your case, with her fertility issues it's a thousand times worse. But for others (or you, if you and she decide), someday you get married or decide to have a kid with her...yes! Tell her then. But be sure you focus on her specifically. "I think you look so hot pregnant" etc., not "I love pregnant women." All humans are susceptible to insecurity like this.

Sounds like you have to tell her kids was and issue in the past and it will be an issue in the future if things are unsaid if you weren't as serious. Imagine a few years down the road you two being married and her seeing your pregnancy related browsing history while she has given up on having kids women get very insecure about that and your justifying it by hiding it from her.

I have had three serious relationships up to now and in all those three relationships I've told them and they all were fine with it. Because it's best to tell the truth straight away rather than getting caught later. Because they're gonna get upset not because of your fetish, but because you were not honest with them. When someone is your soulmate, you have nothing to hide. If you do, then it's a ticking time bomb.

I am gonna be harsh, but this is very important - if she loves you, she'll respect you no matter what. If she won't accept the fetish, she loves you only conditionally, i.e., when it suits her norms and her criteria. If that's the case, she's not the person for you. Also, I recommend to look from her point of view - has she told you everything? Maybe she's afraid that you won't accept her secret desires? If you're open, then it's not you.

And this has nothing to do with fertility troubles. It's about mutual trust and respect. Only thing I can recommend is...find the right moment. And don't tell it straight away. Try directing the conversation towards that topic. Because yes, if you just say "BOOM, I am turned on by preggo bumps", you could kick her out of balance. You gotta test first if she wants to know. I usually get the conversation towards kinks in one way or another. And then try and talk what is each other's kink. As for mine, I play a game - I ask her to guess. Cos that also inserts a bit of fun and excitement in all that.


However, don't take my word for it. It's my opinion from my experience. But I am all for honesty and openness. And if she's the one and she really loves you, she will be totally ok with it.

If she nearly left you after so even thinking about having kids, she'll definitely leave you after finding a clip of a pregnant twinner getting pounded on your computer. Either you tell her up front and have her take it or leave it, or don't look at pregnant content ever again. This "DON'T TELL HER" nonsense will only make things worse since you'll always have this fetish and it won't go away after saying I do.

The way my girlfriend found out was that I accidentally sent her a picture of a pregnant woman on the internet and I freaked out so so so bad but at the end of the day she was actually very supportive and is to this very day, always offering to stick her stomach out as far as she can and even saying she’ll get a food baby for me. Idk how exactly you could tell her, maybe if she ever asks what you like then that would be the time to go out on a limb and do it. Communication is key in a relationship and she would like to know rather than not to.

Unless she's one of those people who gets weird about you jerking off to fantasies, you may as well tell her it's a fantasy of yours like any other, and that you don't expect her to ever have to fuck with it. What if you were into golden showers and she was like oh haayeeeellllll no so you just jerked off to golden shower porn instead? It's the same thing. It's unrealistic to expect a partner to have every kink in common, so there needs to be an understanding that we'll get things satisfied in other ways that don't involve the partner.

These folks talking about “don’t tell her—“ my dying ass. Man, here’s my advice— make damn sure you know your woman well. There should be NOTHING BETWEEN YOU GUYS. One day she looks at your phone, sees your browser history. “Uh, BF, what’s up with this?” That’s gonna be far more awkward than what it’s worth.

Tell her.

I told mine EARLY on. Yeah, it fucking terrified me. Like you don’t know. But I’d rather she knew it. And she actually thanked me for telling her. Neither of us actually want kids, but she appreciates my interest, and understands why some folks get into it.

She’s even RP’d with me on vacation.