(January 27, 2023, 9:05 am)Theroundlover

(January 25, 2023, 5:11 pm)BroHarrison I mean this all sincerely, so please don't take it the wrong way and concisely clarify if I'm misunderstanding.

Your post is incredibly difficult to follow without paragraph breaks and you seem to jump from thought to thought while only giving us context after each thought. For example, you start with a very detailed story about vore, but then it just cuts off and goes into her sex life as a teen, then polyamory comes out of nowhere. I'm still not entirely sure what it is you're specifically trying to ask for advice on other than generally whether you should be with this person or not.

To that, I say no. You're clearly anxious about many different moving parts in this situation and it sounds like you both may have some amount of growing up to do on your own, ESPECIALLY before even entertaining the thought about becoming a parent. You briefly mention a fear about passing your genes on to a child and that this woman practices harmful behavior. These are both things that need to be overcome, ideally on your own so you can focus on yourself before your next relationship - which trust me, there's absolutely no reason to rush at your age.

You seem particularly worried about the possibility that you'll have to raise someone else's child and/or that a child of yours would be taken away to some polyamorous commune. If you and this girl aren't 100% on the same page on any details of your life together whatsoever, you need to end this before something happens that you'll regret.

Finally, you seem to try to justify that everything might be okay because she may become pregnant and you'd get to experience that journey with her. The chance to live out a fetish - any fetish - should NEVER be the basis for a relationship, especially one that runs the risk of crashing and burning. I'd take time to reflect on this: would you be with this person even if they never got pregnant or were not at all into your fetish? If the answer is no, then you're better off taking care of yourself until you know exactly what you want in a partner or find safer ways to engage in the fetish with other consenting individuals.

Overall good advice... haha also you get what you pay for here, kinda love being a rambling maniac on these sites,

I will say there is alot more of an established basis of our relationship than sex or fetishes we aren't even really into sex as a couple, it is mostly romance and affection, and chilling.  The sex is a very backseat role, it's only really brought forward in this post because it's specific to this forum/thread, afterall this is a discussion site about a fetish. I don't plan on being super long term with this girl (or anyone for that matter) It's less about clinging on until it happens and more about being like oh god what I hoped wouldn't happen is happening, and I can't help but be into it. Also, what the fuck would I even do if this happened?

Fair enough. If you don't plan on being long term with this girl, then my advice boils down to this:

(1) make sure you're both on the same page. Don't ever assume, ESPECIALLY if there are other people involved as you say. You need at least the ability to exit the relationship if she becomes pregnant by someone else.

(2) make sure you're 100% ready to have a child before you choose to or accept nature taking its course. Fetish site or not, that kind of responsibility is no laughing matter and some members here seem to need regular reminders. If its what you eventually want and you're willing to be with her, then great!

I agree with the advice given - but I disagree with the unnecessary bashing of polyamory. All forms of non-monogamy are becoming more common and I think we're seeing it works just fine as long as there's community support for it. The one exception is when couples open up what was once a monogamous relationship to try to save it... that typically doesn't work because it's being done as an experiment.

(January 27, 2023, 4:33 pm)Akhenaten I agree with the advice given - but I disagree with the unnecessary bashing of polyamory. 

Bashing? Nobody has a problem with it. The issue is how he's projecting that he'll be the one who's mainly taking care of the kids while the other adults go on with their day and not help. Which can you blame when he makes the whole relationship sound messy? If you're planning on having multiple partners, then set expectations for each of them to pick up the slack.

Whew. There's a lot to process in all of that.

For starters, your girl clearly has some things to sort out for herself and/or some growing up to do. 19 years old is pretty young to know what your whole life is going to look like. She needs time to figure out what she wants, because it sure as hell doesn't sound like she knows yet.

You've probably got some things to figure out and/or growing up to do too. It doesn't really sound like you know what you want either.

The self-harm (cutting) is a big red flag, IMO, and should not go unaddressed.

Other than that I will echo what others have said. Don't choose a life partner based on your fetishes. Don't let someone else (her or her other partners) take advantage of you. Keeping your relationship to a friends-with-benefits arrangement is fine as long as you're both okay with that, and as long as the two of you define some very clear boundaries (e.g. what if she gets pregnant?). Don't think too long-term and just enjoy what you have while you have it. Keep an open line of communication. Do not, under any circumstances, put a baby in her until all this other shit gets sorted out.

(January 27, 2023, 7:11 pm)Glittering_You330

(January 27, 2023, 4:33 pm)Akhenaten I agree with the advice given - but I disagree with the unnecessary bashing of polyamory. 

Bashing? Nobody has a problem with it. The issue is how he's projecting that he'll be the one who's mainly taking care of the kids while the other adults go on with their day and not help. Which can you blame when he makes the whole relationship sound messy? If you're planning on having multiple partners, then set expectations for each of them to pick up the slack.

To be honest I didn't read the OP's post because I can't do walls of text. But I read the replies and there was just random "open doesn't work" stuff that didn't sit right with me, and I wanted to clarify.

Given what you just said though, yeah, that in particular is a mess.

Open relationships can become messy very quickly.

I know a lot of forums and communities have sprung up recently with advice and whatnot on the subject. The reality, however, is that there has to be a great deal of trust in your aspects of the relationship and you have to have very clear and concrete expectations on what you personally expect out of it and what you expect others to adhere to.

I have yet to see an open relationship that lasts. Not that I don’t think there is one. The statistician in me knows that it near impossible to discount. But you simple have to look around and see the overwhelming evidence to show they start okay then devolve into bitterness as one side feels they are somehow been cheated out of the relationship.

My advice is this. Stick to friends with benefits as this is what it sounds like. There are too many red flags for me to suggest otherwise. Don’t commit to something when you are unsure as to what you want.

Your are both young. Rushing these things leads to disaster.

“ I will say there is alot more of an established basis of our relationship than sex or fetishes we aren't even really into sex as a couple, it is mostly romance and affection, and chilling. The sex is a very backseat role, it's only really brought forward in this post because it's specific to this forum/thread, afterall this is a discussion site about a fetish. I don't plan on being super long term with this girl (or anyone for that matter) It's less about clinging on until it happens and more about being like oh god what I hoped wouldn't happen is happening, and I can't help but be into it. Also, what the fuck would I even do if this happened?”

Okay I discovered this response from the OP and I needed to edit.

Sorry but this sounds super complicated. You want the emotional attachments and sex is largely secondary thing? But it also sounds like you just want casual flings and when you get bored you will move on?

Take my advice. Do not do something stupid like not wrapping it before you tap it. You do not sound like you are in a position to deal with the responsibility if a pregnancy does happen.

I don’t even think you are emotionally able to deal with a polyamorous relationship if I am perfectly honest. I am 40 and I don’t think I can deal with that and I have been through a relationship where she was emotionally abusive. So I feel I am pretty hardened to most things.

Just don’t do something stupid and get yourself wrapped up in something you will struggle to get back out of.

(January 25, 2023, 3:02 pm)Theroundlover Hello fellow maiesiophiles I just thought I'd share something in the open discussion that I've been thinking about for a little while, I'm usually a look and don't interact kind of guy on this forum been a part of this forum for maybe 5 years. But I thought the situation that I'm currently in is a little interesting to talk about from multiple perspectives. Obviously, it's about a female that I've been seeing, we've been together about 3 months at this point I'm 22 she's 19 we met from similar Hobbies and we have a lot of things in common like probably more things in common than I've ever had with a girl just as far as upbringing and  World perspective. I will say in general I am more of a pessimist and she is more of an optimist but I've never been more on the same wavelength with someone I've dated before. It's actually been a few years since I've been in a relationship was not really seeking one it just kind of came together as things do. I should add the fact that she’s “drop-dead Gorgeous ” and definitely the most attractive woman I’ve ever dated… enough blabbering here comes the part that's like relevant to the Forum…  I watch exclusively pregnant porn most of it I find on this website like pregnancy is my fetish for sure, I'm more into it from a vore and unbirth perspective like, if I was having sex with a pregnant woman  I would be fantasizing about being the fetus inside of her, so with that in mind within probably 6 weeks of us dating while being affectionate with each other in bed we both kind of realize that we were both into vore.  It started with a saying we wanted to crawl into each other's skin because we kept grabbing each other so tight and then we just started kind of talking about like crawling in each other's holes and I sort of started to be like; I want to shrink down and crawl into your uterus and she was not really into that, stated it was because of like a body autonomy sort of trip that she has. But also let me back up a little bit from that and say she initially told me before we were dating she didn't want kids at all.  And since then in talking to her more about casually it's more about the fact that she doesn't like the idea of a foreign entity that she can't control being in her body. But also she would never have an abortion she supports women rights to do so but says she could never go through with it at any point. But she also USED to be on hormonal birth control as a teenager, when her mom found out she was sexually active and she hated it. She doesn't want an IUD for the same reasons but the kicker is too she doesn't make her Partners wear condoms (for context we are polyamorous)  and she does have a lot of sex so all she's really using is emergency contraceptive (Plan B) if anything at all.. and I've made my point across to her enough that I think that's ridiculous and we moved on from talking about that, essentially she knows my opinion and I don't need to drill it in on her further.  Anyways a few weeks go by and we're having a conversation again about potential Parenthood and she admitted to me that when she was younger like I want to say around 10 years old into being a teenager when her mom put her on birth control she always thought that she was going to be a Teen Mom and wanted to be a Teen Mom she liked there was no other path that she was interested in taking in her life. It would be like, third generation since her mom and her grandma both had kids when they were teenagers. But said that one time she met a person on the street somewhere and they ended up in this corner of a conversation and this person convinced her that she should not have kids. Like fully convinced,  and since then she has not wanted to have kids, then going back to more life aspirations, she has very little and has told me multiple times that she wants to kill herself before she's 30 just so she doesn't have to “grow up” essentially. But it's probably not going to happen, she engages in mild self-destructive Behavior; smoking, binge eating, and cutting herself occasionally,  but as far as I know, she has never attempted suicide, I haven't blatantly said this to her but I think she has already come to the conclusion that she is going to get pregnant at some point and going to become a parent and that's going to take over her aspirations and reason to keep living. Because obviously she'll fall in love with her offspring and want to be there for them, and this whole thing for me is kind of intimidating because I have bad genetics and overall do not want kids. Like, don't get me wrong, with this woman or with another woman procreating and having sex with them while they're pregnant would be absolutely amazing fulfillment of desires and fantasies. But to live one's life by desires and fantasies is foolish and that's where I am when it comes to that. This puts me in a situation where I would say it's essentially ideal because she has various partners that could potentially impregnate her if they chose not to wear a condom or whatever. Hopefully, I'd be around to have sex with her while she was pregnant. But then that leaves me in a situation where I will probably end up being a stepfather to these children or whatever, now she said that part of her polyamory is if she had kids she would want them to be raised by multiple fathers and multiple mothers in the community sence she said they'd probably thrive the best on like a commune which I don't think is a bad idea. But we live in a major city so that means that she would have to move away but she's also told me if she could afford it she'd want to move to like a very rural place and raise her kids with animals which is kind of how she was raised. But runs the risk of isolating them from society which she thinks is bad on the other side I have come to the conclusion that I am never leaving a major city if I was ever a stepfather for a kid I would want them to be raised in this city, it's a very positive social environment, it's ecologically more beneficial to the environment, schools are good around here and I think the youth really thrive in the sort of environment and diversity that we have here. I say this being a young person and knowing other young people who grew up here recently. Anyways, so we kind of disagree on these things but I'm just thinking about like what's inevitably going to happen if I'm even still going to be around as a partner and like how this would all play out thinking even if she did get pregnant if I can still be her primary partner at that point. Because she hasn't officially said it but we do spend the most time together, I'm currently her primary partner but that's going to change at some point it's all sort of a Time game. Not really knowing when it's going to happen, if it happens next week then it's pretty set that she's going to be like living with me while expecting and probably when she has the kid (which I’m fine with) but if it happened down the road when we're not seeing each other as much and she's into somebody else more than me I might not be able to swing anything. I should also add the context she has no idea that I have a pregnancy fetish and I don't know if I want to tell her, I have a feeling that she's going to eventually find out. She's already like gotten pretty close to figuring it out I think because she's been trying to guess for a while and she realizes that it's something with her midriff. Because I touch her midriff alot, and have rubbed my dick upon it which she's into, and also like just sort of us having conversations about vore makes it seem like maybe she'll put two and two together. But also it would be wild if like she has it too because like the way that she's talked about wanting to be a Teen Mom but then backpedaling and changing her mind when she actually was a teenager. lead’s me to think she has a breeding fetish or pregnancy fetish she's also into women ALOT and with pregnancy being a very female-exclusive thing she might totally be into it. Or at least would be accepting, what leads me to believe that she isn't is the fact that when I wouldn't tell her what my fetish was outright, she was like I won't judge you for anything as long as it's you're not into kids or minors in general because that's fucked up. I don't know if when she finds out, her perspective will be like a lot of people where they think that our fetish is about penetrating a fetus or that you are fucking the baby I don't need to go on about how opening up to a partner can be dicey, that's already been gone over too much on this website. I'm just not sure of like when she does eventually get pregnant and I'm like so horny for her and want to fuck her all day every day if she's going to get weirded out by that and then leave me, Anyways I'm just rambling at this point let me know what you would do in this situation? or how this makes you feel from a third position or heck even if you were the partner who was in this polyamorous relationship and you were the one who did actually impregnated her because there's also the possibility that we wouldn't know who the father was until it was born. I mean I don't think I'm going to be the father because I am strict about wearing protection and careful where my semen goes and we also don't really fuck that much I have pretty bad ED for a 22-year-old  I'm not sure if it's a hormonal thing or just like a stage fright kind of thing cuz I'll be rock hard for 4 hours right next to her then the moment she wants to fuck soft as pudding, anyways I thought I just add that little kicker on the end here keep it real, thanks for Reading and Responding with love- theroundlover

My eye hurts from the massive font size and lack of paragraphing.

Just by reading your post, I can immediately tell you that you are not ready for parenthood.

Parenthood certainly isn’t for everyone. I work in child support services and well, I see the results of what happens when people that were not ready make babies.

(January 27, 2023, 7:11 pm)Glittering_You330

(January 27, 2023, 4:33 pm)Akhenaten I agree with the advice given - but I disagree with the unnecessary bashing of polyamory. 

Bashing? Nobody has a problem with it. The issue is how he's projecting that he'll be the one who's mainly taking care of the kids while the other adults go on with their day and not help. Which can you blame when he makes the whole relationship sound messy? If you're planning on having multiple partners, then set expectations for each of them to pick up the slack.

Yeah I mean that comes from just observed maturity levels in partners, not saying that I want kids but I think i'd probably be the most mentally and financially capable to do so, so that's probably what would end up happening in these theoretical circumstances

Just a little update on this thread, She admitted the other day to me she had a breeding kink, but would only be into it in roleplay, heavily emphasizing she's not intrested in intentionally having kids although the language was as stated, she's still engaging in unprotected sex without real contraception, her newest partner though is getting a vasectomy next week, which I congratulated him on, but I digress... with strong hesitation I admitted my fetish to her, and she didn't seem to give a fuck, we talked about it for a minute and the conversation moved on. She said she was expecting much worse since I'd been keeping it from her, she said she thought her's was more shameful (she's into being pissed on, and drinking piss) among other things, anyways things are good, anxiety levels are trending down