I started out with a 1GB usb drive full of Youtube videos and over the course of a decade spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars across C4S, MV, TMC, S.31, CB, SC, Recurbate, GirlFightClub, OF, and several other sites. I had clips that are no longer avalibale anywhere online due to the site shutting down, private cams from models who are no longer active, and subscriptions that cost an arm and a leg just for entry.

It felt like I had an addiction and was never satisfied. Everyday after work I'd come home and spend at least $10-$20 a day on Chaturbate, download a clip from recurbate, and then browse around MV and C4S to see if a model I like uploaded a new video. It was destructive financially and was getting in the way of my relationship with my girlfriend who was pregnant when I met. I thought she would've been enough, but I was still dropping money on other girls behind her back. I was greedy, selfish, and unfaithful to her and the daughter that she's given me. So this morning I got up, plugged my external drive in, and clicked format.

In the heat of the moment, I didn't feel anything. No sadness, anger, happiness, or relief. Just "okay, I just deleted a terrobyte of porn. Now what?" Just thousands of dollars worth of content gone just like that. Will I relapse and hoard again? Will I spend the extra free time and money with my girlfriend and kid? I hope so since porn is a crutch for any type of relationship imo. Will I fall somewhat in the middle? Also a possibility. Only time will tell.

Just needed to get that off my chest. Feel like this is the only place that I can since 80% of it was preggo porn and I got my start here over a decade ago.

Everything else aside, it sounds like your relationship with your partner is such that you're not supposed to be whacking it to other stuff behind her back, so yes, that absolutely needed to stop. I'm glad you took decisive action to end it.

That said, I'm sorry you weren't able to find a way to reconcile/balance it all. I first recognized this kink in myself over 20 years ago, and it's a part of me that's not going anywhere. Like you, a few years ago, I met a woman while she was pregnant, and we stayed together and I'm helping to raise her daughter. The difference is that I'm very open with her about this (she sees me with this site open all the time) and she's supportive of whatever makes me feel good. I consider myself to be outrageously fortunate right now.

I only share that to say it is TECHNICALLY possible to balance everything, but we're all different. In your case, it wasn't working and felt wrong, so you made the change you felt you needed to make. I hope you're able to breathe easier now with the weight of all that gone. Personally, if I were you and had more time in my day all of a sudden, I'd invest it in my kid! They can't get enough!

You're a strong man, I hope you find other ways to occupy the time that you previously dedicated for porn. Maybe pick up a hobby, something that takes a good amount of time to get good at and enjoy the progression of bettering yourself. It's weird to read on a porn forum, but you did the right thing.

(January 22, 2024, 11:06 am)MyandGoSeek I started out with a 1GB usb drive full of Youtube videos and over the course of a decade spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars across C4S, MV, TMC, S.31, CB, SC, Recurbate, GirlFightClub, OF, and several other sites. I had clips that are no longer avalibale anywhere online due to the site shutting down, private cams from models who are no longer active, and subscriptions that cost an arm and a leg just for entry.

It felt like I had an addiction and was never satisfied. Everyday after work I'd come home and spend at least $10-$20 a day on Chaturbate, download a clip from recurbate, and then browse around MV and C4S to see if a model I like uploaded a new video. It was destructive financially and was getting in the way of my relationship with my girlfriend who was pregnant when I met. I thought she would've been enough, but I was still dropping money on other girls behind her back. I was greedy, selfish, and unfaithful to her and the daughter that she's given me. So this morning I got up, plugged my external drive in, and clicked format.

In the heat of the moment, I didn't feel anything. No sadness, anger, happiness, or relief. Just "okay, I just deleted a terrobyte of porn. Now what?" Just thousands of dollars worth of content gone just like that. Will I relapse and hoard again? Will I spend the extra free time and money with my girlfriend and kid? I hope so since porn is a crutch for any type of relationship imo. Will I fall somewhat in the middle? Also a possibility. Only time will tell.

Just needed to get that off my chest. Feel like this is the only place that I can since 80% of it was preggo porn and I got my start here over a decade ago.

I'm sure most of us (myself included) would have preferred you share that stuff here before deleting it, but if it was to the point where it was negatively impacting your finances and your IRL relationship(s), then it's probably for the best. Good luck!

Honestly happy for you - porn and data hording can both be very real forms of addiction, made more dangerous when they mesh. It sounds like this was really controlling a significant aspect of your life, so pulling the plug and pressing delete was quite possibly the best thing you could have done.

I imagine the absence of your library will make it easier to resist the archival process, but it's also worth knowing that a healthy relationship with porn is possible. Just have to find out what that means to you. Given your history outlined in your post, I'd defnitely think the best first-step is avoidance of paid porn: it's not in and of itself bad, but worth avoiding if there's a risk of overindulgence. Ex-alcoholics lost their money to booze, ex-porn addicts lost their money to buying videos or paying for models, but you can be confident that money lost can be in the past and won't affect what you earn in the future.

I did something similar years ago - I no longer download videos. However, I do like to write stories/photo captions, so I do still have my own collection of photos (saves a ton of room compared to videos). That seems to scratch the itch without taking over my life nor my digitial space.

Definitely good luck! I think many here would see that as an admirable action.

If only people had put as much effort into archiving and hording old internet content, sites and mods as they seem to preserving porn. Geocities or MySpace music could have been archived hundreds of times and every map and mod made for games like Half Life 1, Jedi Knight or Tzar the Burden of several times over. Content that in my view holds much more value than porn yet instead of those being the priority people let themselves be driven by lust and thus create hordes of worthless porn. I know this is the best place to say this and I am not attempting to be judgmental but this has always bothered me when I see just how much porn is horded compared to how much material of actual value and creativity has been lost.

(January 22, 2024, 11:10 pm)Loomer If only people had put as much effort into archiving and hording old internet content, sites and mods as they seem to preserving porn. Geocities or MySpace music could have been archived hundreds of times and every map and mod made for games like Half Life 1, Jedi Knight or Tzar the Burden of several times over. Content that in my view holds much more value than porn yet instead of those being the priority people let themselves be driven by lust and thus create hordes of worthless porn. I know this is the best place to say this and I am not attempting to be judgmental but this has always bothered me when I see just how much porn is horded compared to how much material of actual value and creativity has been lost.

Change only happens when you take the initiative. If you see something that you want preserved, then act now and don't wait on others to do it.