Mixed emotions came over me Saturday morning when I didn’t start my monthly cycle. My Ovia tracker said I should take a test but I was to scared. So the next day comes. It’s Sunday august 21st, and I wake up and still nothing. Something in me says just go buy a test so you can know. I was having symptoms and not even really aware but had a feeling if that makes sense. I started getting leg cramps (which I only get when I’m pregnant), and extra emotional lately (which could be from your period or being pregnant) 

So I tell my “SO” I need to go get a test. He says okay. So I go up the street to rite aid and buy a 2pack test. Come home and take the test. Not sure how I’m feeling with all my emotions running crazy I decided to record me taking the test. Going back over and watching the video breaks my heart because you can tell I didn’t expect it and I’m so nervous and stressed about it. 

I just had a baby Jan 26th 2021, and 4 days later my sister died. I have been the most depressed I’ve ever been since then. Getting this news was shocking to me and I’m torn on what to do. I have so many mixed emotions. Is it normal to have this many mixed emotions? Is it common to record your reaction to the test results because you feel like you don’t have anybody?

Aww tattedmilkmommy sorry to hear about your sister
What was the result

I appreciate that. And results was positive

(August 27, 2022, 4:27 pm)TattedMilkMommy Mixed emotions came over me Saturday morning when I didn’t start my monthly cycle. My Ovia tracker said I should take a test but I was to scared. So the next day comes. It’s Sunday august 21st, and I wake up and still nothing. Something in me says just go buy a test so you can know. I was having symptoms and not even really aware but had a feeling if that makes sense. I started getting leg cramps (which I only get when I’m pregnant), and extra emotional lately (which could be from your period or being pregnant) 

So I tell my “SO” I need to go get a test. He says okay. So I go up the street to rite aid and buy a 2pack test. Come home and take the test. Not sure how I’m feeling with all my emotions running crazy I decided to record me taking the test. Going back over and watching the video breaks my heart because you can tell I didn’t expect it and I’m so nervous and stressed about it. 

I just had a baby Jan 26th 2021, and 4 days later my sister died. I have been the most depressed I’ve ever been since then. Getting this news was shocking to me and I’m torn on what to do. I have so many mixed emotions. Is it normal to have this many mixed emotions? Is it common to record your reaction to the test results because you feel like you don’t have anybody?

Of course it's normal to have mixed emotions about this. It's a lot to find out you're having another baby, but also a big life change.

There's some element of increased hormones that are likely worsening some of your feelings, but the reality is is that you lost someone close to you and you are still in a mourning period. And only you get to define how long that takes.

You weren't done crossing the threshold of your grief, and now you're crossing another threshold by bringing in a new life. That's a lot to process. It's 100% understandable that you would be overwhelmed.

If you're unsure of what to do, I encourage you to sit down and explore it. Set aside the shock when you can, and ask yourself "Is this something that I want to do right now?" or "Will I be happy with the decision that I made?"

You don't have an infinite amount of time, but you do have time right now. Use it to explore yourself and figure out some answers.

And in the mean time, be kind to yourself. I'm sorry about this shock, and I'm sorry about your sister. You have my condolences.

It might sound crazy do you think it could be your sister sending u sign that she is watching over u

@Bad_company_95 I don’t know. But I was wondering if it was a sign to not give up. I’ve been having severe thoughts lately and then this news, and I’m sitting here wondering is this supposed to help me keep going. But I just don’t know if it’s what I want. I have a lot to think about today.

@Murble thank you for your comment. I do need to sit down and think about what I personally want. Not anybody else.

Do what is right for you.

@larik9 thank you. I appreciate that.

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your sister. Sending you love, peace and comfort.