I have had a pregnancy fetish ever since puberty. It formed the core of my arousal supplemented by an enjoyment of young or young looking (post pubescent) girls with curves. I have discovered through therapy that this seems to be a symbolic expression of masculinity. To me the act of a girl getting pregnant and bring proud of it is the most affirming thing she can do for her partner.
When I met my wife and began a sexual relationship, I quickly divulged my fascination with pregnancy and the fact that she was young and well endowed seemed perfect. She participated in the fantasy role-play of being pregnant both in person and via email/IM. For the most part, I stopped masturbating by myself any time I had the chance to see or talk to her preferring to share that sexual experience with her. Keep in mind we were both very inexperienced sexually.
I moved in with her and our relationship went from 100% of the time we spent together to only a fraction of the time. Real life responsibilities and needs were now to be considered. As she realized that my life was not all-about-her, our sexual relationship diminished but only slightly. I masturbated, but not nearly as frequently as when I was single. She discovered at that point that I had a collection of sexual and pregnancy-themed emails from former girlfriends I had saved. She felt betrayed and I apologized and deleted most of them feeling I could simply keep the rest secret. A few more time in our relationship we had brief discussions about my occasional habits but before any objective understanding could occur, she would flip out, feel insulted and completely disengage from the conversation. No real solution was ever reached, just her insistence that I stop.
Fast forward to a year into our first home together. Our sex life is growing and I find myself not wanting to masturbate. We got married and were enjoying life. At some point, she simply tells me she no longer wants to play into my fantasy, she wants me to want her for who she is. We wanted to have children so I didn't see this as too much of a problem. Not long after, she announced she was pregnant. We were both happy but it seemed that her frustration with my fetish prohibited her from enjoying what was no longer a fantasy. Despite being a young pregnant woman, she didn't find it as sexy as I did. I feel she thought I was looking at her as an object instead of the wife who was carrying my child. The thought of being objectified to her (despite having a great body) seemed not worth knowing that it resulted sexual satisfaction for us both. Our sex life diminished and I found myself masturbating again to the same things I did when I was single.
After she gave birth, our sex life tanked to zero as she struggled caring for the baby and I took over all other household responsibilities. Not having a sex life with her, I decided to simply take care of myself instead of trying to interrupt her when she was obviously exhausted and uninterested. Over the next year she became gradually more interested in sex, but did very little to entice me. At this point sex was not enjoyable. She felt she deserved it simply because she was there and I felt like my role as husband was forgotten. I masturbated on a near daily because I could pretend that the person on the screen was proud to be with me while the person in my home simply saw me as a roommate that paid the bills and had annoying habits.
My wife now wants a divorce citing that my preference for masturbation to pregnant girls is disgusting and I don't have sex with her enough. Despite many times I have requested to go to counseling with her throughout the relationship, she insists that she "isn't the one with the problem" After several sessions with a sex therapist, I have concluded my fascinations are not "wrong" (despite their apparent social taboo nature) but rather a symbolic representation of what I desire most from a partner. Something that if denied by a real person is compensated for by the next best thing: the fantasy. In my opinion, partner sex is WAY better physically than even the best masturbation experience, but after the physical sensation wears off, it's the emotional connection that we lack. Whatever triggered her rejection of my fantasy with no alternative or placeholder seemed to be a rejection of all that I wanted from her as a wife. I feel that if she just understood what that meant to me and that she wasn't an "object" but the physical reality of a person that happened to fill that fantasy with much more, we could work to rebuild our relationship on an adult level with a mature understanding of what each of us wants.
Thank you for reading, I welcome your commentary.
When I met my wife and began a sexual relationship, I quickly divulged my fascination with pregnancy and the fact that she was young and well endowed seemed perfect. She participated in the fantasy role-play of being pregnant both in person and via email/IM. For the most part, I stopped masturbating by myself any time I had the chance to see or talk to her preferring to share that sexual experience with her. Keep in mind we were both very inexperienced sexually.
I moved in with her and our relationship went from 100% of the time we spent together to only a fraction of the time. Real life responsibilities and needs were now to be considered. As she realized that my life was not all-about-her, our sexual relationship diminished but only slightly. I masturbated, but not nearly as frequently as when I was single. She discovered at that point that I had a collection of sexual and pregnancy-themed emails from former girlfriends I had saved. She felt betrayed and I apologized and deleted most of them feeling I could simply keep the rest secret. A few more time in our relationship we had brief discussions about my occasional habits but before any objective understanding could occur, she would flip out, feel insulted and completely disengage from the conversation. No real solution was ever reached, just her insistence that I stop.
Fast forward to a year into our first home together. Our sex life is growing and I find myself not wanting to masturbate. We got married and were enjoying life. At some point, she simply tells me she no longer wants to play into my fantasy, she wants me to want her for who she is. We wanted to have children so I didn't see this as too much of a problem. Not long after, she announced she was pregnant. We were both happy but it seemed that her frustration with my fetish prohibited her from enjoying what was no longer a fantasy. Despite being a young pregnant woman, she didn't find it as sexy as I did. I feel she thought I was looking at her as an object instead of the wife who was carrying my child. The thought of being objectified to her (despite having a great body) seemed not worth knowing that it resulted sexual satisfaction for us both. Our sex life diminished and I found myself masturbating again to the same things I did when I was single.
After she gave birth, our sex life tanked to zero as she struggled caring for the baby and I took over all other household responsibilities. Not having a sex life with her, I decided to simply take care of myself instead of trying to interrupt her when she was obviously exhausted and uninterested. Over the next year she became gradually more interested in sex, but did very little to entice me. At this point sex was not enjoyable. She felt she deserved it simply because she was there and I felt like my role as husband was forgotten. I masturbated on a near daily because I could pretend that the person on the screen was proud to be with me while the person in my home simply saw me as a roommate that paid the bills and had annoying habits.
My wife now wants a divorce citing that my preference for masturbation to pregnant girls is disgusting and I don't have sex with her enough. Despite many times I have requested to go to counseling with her throughout the relationship, she insists that she "isn't the one with the problem" After several sessions with a sex therapist, I have concluded my fascinations are not "wrong" (despite their apparent social taboo nature) but rather a symbolic representation of what I desire most from a partner. Something that if denied by a real person is compensated for by the next best thing: the fantasy. In my opinion, partner sex is WAY better physically than even the best masturbation experience, but after the physical sensation wears off, it's the emotional connection that we lack. Whatever triggered her rejection of my fantasy with no alternative or placeholder seemed to be a rejection of all that I wanted from her as a wife. I feel that if she just understood what that meant to me and that she wasn't an "object" but the physical reality of a person that happened to fill that fantasy with much more, we could work to rebuild our relationship on an adult level with a mature understanding of what each of us wants.
Thank you for reading, I welcome your commentary.