I've been observing this thread for quite some time, given the sensitive nature of OP's circumstances, but now that all have spoken, I can give my two cents as to my POV on this whole schtick: in short, OP messed up in the worst possible way.

To elaborate, however, this is going to be a peasoup of betrayal, lack of communication between both OP and his girlfriend, and of course, the fallout from all of this; first things first, if you're going to browse over your SO's private stuff, especially lewds that you didn't know that he/she has, make sure that you don't get found out, because like what happened here, they're not going to take it very well. And of course, make sure that both OP and his girlfriend communicate between each other on many things, especially things of this nature so that the risk of being found out that someone has a kink and not taking it well would be minimized, if not eliminated.

And of course, OP would be extremely lucky if his girlfriend actually recovers from the shock that they've caused to them and tries to mend this relationship; that would certainly be a keeper for sure and they better make sure that every concession that she demands and is fair in a punishing sense for OP would be met with no delays.

But come on, that's the best case scenario. OP just pulled a Chernobyl on their relationship and the chances of their relationship even recovering from all of this would be untenable, if not extremely slim.

Bottom line: OP should have been careful when doing stuff like this if they keep continuing this sort of behavior and it's best that they stop and talk it out with their SO about what happened. I wish OP for the best and that the situation wouldn't worsen to the point that it could potentially ruin their own life because of it.

(June 10, 2023, 11:41 am)13Scarlett Because instead of it being just an actual pornstar or a random girl online he found…it’s someone they both know. And he actively searched her out on onlyfans specifically. There’s really not anymore clarification needed beyond that. Unless it’s agreed upon before hand that it’s okay…most women see that as insane betrayal.  Think of it this way: you caught your gf/wife watching porn. Except it’s not just a porn video off xnxx or something: she’s on your home boys’ onlyfans page checkin out his dick pics (I know men aren’t the majority of creators on OF but for this scenario just go with it lol) would that be okay with you? Or would you feel extremely uncomfortable afterwards knowing your wife wants to fuck this person you both know. @Azmarith

Yeah, I get that. Though I think there's some grey area. I'm interested in your perspective as someone who works in the industry. Surly you're just a professional doing a job. You don't have a genuine relationship with your customers. How is buying a friend's onlyfans different to supporting any other business owned by a friend?

I guess the differences there are along the lines of I don’t have my friends or my friends boyfriends/husbands on my onlyfans. And if they did get on mine, that’s not my fault and definitely not my intention. That’s 100% the boyfriends decision. And if he’s making that decision knowing it’s not something that flys in their relationship then that is completely on him and he’s risking his relationship for some porn. It’s not the same type of business as supporting your friends Etsy shop or something. This is something that should be discussed and agreed upon between partners to establish what is deemed appropriate in the relationship and what is not.

(June 10, 2023, 3:50 pm)13Scarlett I guess the differences there are along the lines of I don’t have my friends or my friends boyfriends/husbands on my onlyfans. And if they did get on mine, that’s not my fault and definitely not my intention. That’s 100% the boyfriends decision. And if he’s making that decision knowing it’s not something that flys in their relationship then that is completely on him and he’s risking his relationship for some porn.  It’s not the same type of business as supporting your friends Etsy shop or something. This is something that should be discussed and agreed upon between partners to establish what is deemed appropriate in the relationship and what is not.

I guess it depends on the boundaries in the relationship. Some people have open relationships. Everyone is different. Though I'm still not sure of the difference. Would you be ok if one of your friends who was single signed up to your OF? Or what about someone in a relationship, but their partner is ok with it? I think on some level society still views the adult industry as nefarious, when really it shouldn't.

Yes definitely depends on the relationship but I’m guessing from how she reacted in OPs story that the incident was crossing a big boundary for her. And I’m just a producer, think of me as Walmart, I don’t know the situation or my customers, I just provide a service, but I hope that if they do have a relationship that it’s within the boundaries of their relationship. But there’s no way for me, the creator to know. It 100% falls on the people in the relationship to set and respect their own boundaries. I’m obviously very pro sex worker so the creator doesn’t need to be brought up at all in this instance nothing about what she does is nefarious. She didn’t hit him up asking for him to join her only fans, knowing he had a gf, he searched her out. Which, it seems, in this relationship was obviously a big no no for her

(June 10, 2023, 4:17 pm)13Scarlett Yes definitely depends on the relationship but I’m guessing from how she reacted in OPs story that the incident was crossing a big boundary for her. And I’m just a producer, think of me as Walmart, I don’t know the situation or my customers, I just provide a service,  but I hope that if they do have a relationship that it’s within the boundaries of their relationship. But there’s no way for me, the creator to know. It 100% falls on the people in the relationship to set and respect their own boundaries. I’m obviously very pro sex worker so the creator doesn’t need to be brought up at all in this instance nothing about what she does is nefarious. She didn’t hit him up asking for him to join her only fans, knowing he had a gf, he searched her out. Which, it seems, in this relationship was obviously a big no no for her

I agree that there are issues with OPs post. It just seems to be issues around, trust, communication, and boundaries. The OF part of it seems incidental. I think the acceptance of sex work is still kind of new, and we're figuring things out with it, as well as sexuality in general. We'll get some things right, and other things wrong. We won't know until after which is which.

I never implied sex work was a bad thing. I just stated obviously he crossed a boundary in their personal relationship by looking up someone they both knew personally…naked…while in a relationship. I think you’re confusing this situation with a popular model but it seems that this is just a girl from their town who has an OF. Knowing someone personally and looking up their naked pics when you’re in a relationship is very different from subscribing to a porn stars Of page. Again. Your relationship may have completely different boundaries but a majority of women would not be okay with that. Just think back to my example of your partner on your homeboys OF page, if that wasn’t something you’re accepting of, would it be a deal breaker for you? If you’re into that then that’s great too but just from reading his scenario: his gf feels like he cheated because this wasn’t a random porn star this is someone they know and probably see in person. Not a fun scenario for the gf to know what her bf does with her pics, so of course she wouldn’t wanna stay if she’s not into it

(June 10, 2023, 6:56 pm)13Scarlett I never implied sex work was a bad thing. I just stated obviously he crossed a boundary in their personal relationship by looking up someone they both knew personally…naked…while in a relationship. I think you’re confusing this situation with a popular model but it seems that this is just a girl from their town who has an OF. Knowing someone personally and looking up their naked pics when you’re in a relationship is very different from subscribing to a porn stars Of page. Again. Your relationship may have completely different boundaries but a majority of women would not be okay with that. Just think back to my example of your partner on your homeboys OF page, if that wasn’t something you’re accepting of, would it be a deal breaker for you? If you’re into that then that’s great too but just from reading his scenario: his gf  feels like he cheated because this wasn’t a random porn star this is someone they know and probably see in person. Not a fun scenario for the gf to know what her bf does with her pics, so of course she wouldn’t wanna stay if she’s not into it

I'm not saying that you implied sex work was bad. I guess I'm struggling to understand what the difference is between a random porn star, and someone you know. I appriciate that some people would have a problem with that. I'm just not sure why.

I guess honestly I don’t understand how you don’t get it lol Because it crosses the boundary of being fantasy to reality. They know this person, and the now the gf knows their boyfriend is using her pics. Do you have a partner or are you in any kind of relationship?

Could you break it down into smaller steps? From what I can tell it seems to be a qualia. People feel that it's not ok, but they're not sure why.

So, for example you have a friend who is an actor, and you go to see a play they're in. The play is fantasy, and your relationship with them is reality. That's probably fine for most people. But if acting is replaced with something like OF, what changes?

TBH my personal life is irrelivant to this discussion.